18 weeks.

18 weeks.

how is this possible?  i feel like i just saw that second line show up, i remember how my hands were shaking and i wasn't sure (but inside i was), and how excited i was to tell the Hubs & then everyone else.  and now i stand on the brink of the halfway point, having seen the peanut several times on ultrasound (thanks for hiding your heartbeat from the doppler, little baby!).  and i can't believe i'm here, 18 weeks into the rest of my life.  

i want to speed some things up:  finding out if baby is a he or she in two weeks...feeling the tiny movements more often...picking out sweet bedding & tiny clothes.

but i want to slow some things down, too:  the last months with just me & mike...growing this little life inside me...feeling so great, with energy & shiny hair & looking cute-prego and not yet uncomfortable-prego :)

so i stand at 18 weeks with mixed emotions.  slow down & hurry up.

in other news, we got an ultrasound at my 17 week appointment last week because the doctor couldn't find peanut's heartbeat with the little doppler machine.  even though i know it's possible, since i heard it at work one day a couple weeks ago just for fun.  anyway, i'm not complaining because i loved seeing baby kicked back relaxing :)  i couldn't believe how much bigger he/she is since my 12 week ultrasound.  baby wasn't moving around much, just relaxing back kicking his/her foot occasionally!  and no, that's not an identifying organ in the middle - think that's a hand!!  we find out the gender on february 1... 

excuse the dirty closet mirror, what is up with that?  anyway, this is a picture from this morning of my belly followed by one this evening when i got home from work - i started a temporary job at work monday thru friday doing admin stuff, hence the dressier clothes.  i'm so much bigger by evening, it's weird!  you can see how much higher up i'm showing by evening.  my belly pretty much migrates up into my bra!  but this is first thing in the morning...strange still to see a baby bump in the mirror when i get up for the first time.  i forget it's there, but it's not going away in the mornings anymore :)

i feel great right now, i have tons of energy and have loved being able to work out again.  i stopped for awhile with the spotting & cramping i had first trimester.  so i'm just running a couple miles a few days a week & doing light weights.  but it feels awesome.  and i feel cute at this point instead of feeling like i'm looking kind of pudgy the way early pregnancy is, and before getting big & uncomfortable like late pregnancy can be for most people.  i haven't had any more GI problems (nausea or the horrible constipation) since about week 11.  i'm eating normally again instead of every two hours like i was first trimester & have gained six pounds since i got prego which is great.  i just told mike tonight, "i know what my mom meant when she said she's never felt better than when she was pregnant."  it suits me just fine so far!  i can't sleep on my tummy anymore, and i'm a tummy sleeper, so that's been interesting.  i need to get a giant body pillow, think that will help me be more restful at night.  i wake up a lot, i think just changing positions because i don't sleep solidly on my side or back...but i go back to sleep easily so that's fine for now.  i know it will only get worse as i get bigger, haha!  i haven't had any real cravings yet, and my only aversion is still to coffee (even the thought of coffee can make me gag).  still mourning that loss!

so that's the update!  hope to not go four more weeks between posts...thank you holidays :)