can't sleep!

my ultrasound is tomorrow, and we get to find out if baby A is a boy or a girl peanut.

i cannot go to sleep tonight despite getting up super early for work this morning (hello 5 o'clock hour) and early tomorrow morning too.  i don't care if i have toothpicks in my eyes in the morning because come 12:30pm i'll be laying on a table and waiting for the biggest news of this pregnancy so far.  except maybe, those two lines :)

i've felt like peanut is a boy since the day i found out i was pregnant.  lots of people even have told me the way i'm carrying - ALL out front - that it's a boy.  i've even referred a lot to "him" - mostly because i don't like calling the baby "it."  but then last week i had two dreams that it was a girl.  probably just proof that i actually have no idea, and no control.  i always hate when people say "i don't care, as long as they're healthy" when asked which gender they prefer.  but now i'm saying the same thing.  i think in some ways i'll be shocked either way...i really have no idea what i'm carrying...and i truly will be thrilled either way.  it's an amazing feeling to know that i'd love a girl baby & i'd love a boy baby.

we can't lose either way.

so baby A - show your stuff tomorrow!!

p.s. the movement every day that i'm feeling is crazier than i expected.  last night i laid in bed with my tummy bare, watching my baby kick visibly.  coolest thing ever.  i'm addicted to feeling him or her stretch and turn and live inside me.

18 weeks.

18 weeks.

how is this possible?  i feel like i just saw that second line show up, i remember how my hands were shaking and i wasn't sure (but inside i was), and how excited i was to tell the Hubs & then everyone else.  and now i stand on the brink of the halfway point, having seen the peanut several times on ultrasound (thanks for hiding your heartbeat from the doppler, little baby!).  and i can't believe i'm here, 18 weeks into the rest of my life.  

i want to speed some things up:  finding out if baby is a he or she in two weeks...feeling the tiny movements more often...picking out sweet bedding & tiny clothes.

but i want to slow some things down, too:  the last months with just me & mike...growing this little life inside me...feeling so great, with energy & shiny hair & looking cute-prego and not yet uncomfortable-prego :)

so i stand at 18 weeks with mixed emotions.  slow down & hurry up.

in other news, we got an ultrasound at my 17 week appointment last week because the doctor couldn't find peanut's heartbeat with the little doppler machine.  even though i know it's possible, since i heard it at work one day a couple weeks ago just for fun.  anyway, i'm not complaining because i loved seeing baby kicked back relaxing :)  i couldn't believe how much bigger he/she is since my 12 week ultrasound.  baby wasn't moving around much, just relaxing back kicking his/her foot occasionally!  and no, that's not an identifying organ in the middle - think that's a hand!!  we find out the gender on february 1... 

excuse the dirty closet mirror, what is up with that?  anyway, this is a picture from this morning of my belly followed by one this evening when i got home from work - i started a temporary job at work monday thru friday doing admin stuff, hence the dressier clothes.  i'm so much bigger by evening, it's weird!  you can see how much higher up i'm showing by evening.  my belly pretty much migrates up into my bra!  but this is first thing in the morning...strange still to see a baby bump in the mirror when i get up for the first time.  i forget it's there, but it's not going away in the mornings anymore :)

i feel great right now, i have tons of energy and have loved being able to work out again.  i stopped for awhile with the spotting & cramping i had first trimester.  so i'm just running a couple miles a few days a week & doing light weights.  but it feels awesome.  and i feel cute at this point instead of feeling like i'm looking kind of pudgy the way early pregnancy is, and before getting big & uncomfortable like late pregnancy can be for most people.  i haven't had any more GI problems (nausea or the horrible constipation) since about week 11.  i'm eating normally again instead of every two hours like i was first trimester & have gained six pounds since i got prego which is great.  i just told mike tonight, "i know what my mom meant when she said she's never felt better than when she was pregnant."  it suits me just fine so far!  i can't sleep on my tummy anymore, and i'm a tummy sleeper, so that's been interesting.  i need to get a giant body pillow, think that will help me be more restful at night.  i wake up a lot, i think just changing positions because i don't sleep solidly on my side or back...but i go back to sleep easily so that's fine for now.  i know it will only get worse as i get bigger, haha!  i haven't had any real cravings yet, and my only aversion is still to coffee (even the thought of coffee can make me gag).  still mourning that loss!

so that's the update!  hope to not go four more weeks between posts...thank you holidays :)

facebook-official.

we're now official!  at least by social media standards ;)

so excited to use this photo, with the caption "one more present on the way! arriving june 2012," on my facebook today!!  the immediate flood of sweet words from friends all over the US brought tears to my eyes.  i am so lucky to have such sweet people excited for us.

yay for this fun adventure!!

14 weeks.

well, it's been a busy few weeks!  the holidays have a way of making that happen :)

Christmas 2011 was so good to us.  i spent the weekend before in missouri with my family and it was such a good time with them, as always.  and as usual, hard to leave.  i came home to snow, a couple work days at the hospital, and then Christmas was upon us!  mike and i had a great time celebrating with his mom, sarah & kate...and Christmas eve dinner with our koepp family.  lots of great gifts were exchanged & too much good food enjoyed this season!!

i feel really good right now.  i haven't had any nausea since about week 11, and i have much more energy again.  i even had enough energy to work out today for the first time in TOO many weeks.  the constipation-from-hell has also resolved & overall, i feel great.  i just keep hoping that my love of all things coffee returns soon.  the mere thought of it still nauseates me, and frankly, i miss it.

anyway, i'm making the announcement on facebook this week - but here is my 14 week belly shot.  in the last few weeks, i've developed quite a bump by the end of the day, but this week i noticed it doesn't go away in the mornings anymore.  i think it's here to stay :)

baby A, you got your first presents this week from family & friends, which was awesome.  we are getting SO excited about your summer 2012 arrival!

12 weeks with a bonus ultrasound.

i got to have an ultrasound this morning for my 12 week appointment.  the doctor couldn't hear the heartbeat with the doppler (which is normal this early) so she got out the portable ultrasound and i got to see baby A jumping around on the screen.  the little peanut was practically doing flips, stretching his/her legs & waving his/her arms.  it was seriously the coolest part of my pregnancy so far!  i can't believe how much he/she was moving, even though i can't feel a thing yet.  pregnancy is such an incredible experience.  i was so glad mike was able to come to my appointment with me, as i didn't even think to ask him til last night.  it was awesome being able to see the baby together & laugh so hard at the antics going on in my tummy.  every time i laughed, baby started jumping again. i did have a passing thought of, "this may be a bad sign" when i saw how active he/she was being!! ;)  we may be in for a real spaz!

i call this picture, "baby has a question!"

well, please excuse the horrible iPhone photo below, but you can see that i'm starting to really show now.  and i think it's more than just bloating.  although by evening it's more bloating.  anyway, i wake up with a little bump now and buttoning ANY of my pants is a thing of the past.  i actually bought my first pair of maternity pants this week at old navy.  i don't quite fill them out yet, but they were instantly more comfortable than my jeans + belly band combo.  basically as soon as i get home, and out of the public eye, i'm into my comfy pj pants.  i'm hoping in the next few weeks i can really fill out the maternity jeans.  i've got to get another pair somewhere though since i'd wear the heck out of the one pair i have :)  anyway, i think to the average stranger who doesn't know differently, i just look a little pudgy.  but i can tell i'm showing and it's so exciting!

in other updates, my nausea practically stopped about 10-14 days ago.  i just woke up one morning and didn't feel like yakking the second my eyes opened.  quite an improvement!  i actually was hoping everything was still okay with baby since i expected to have morning sickness longer than week 11, but after seeing baby doing perfectly fine on ultrasound, i'm just thanking my lucky stars that i feel better so early.  and i made it without ever throwing up (my least fave thing ever).  yay!

i can't believe i'm almost 13 weeks now.  i told my boss at work this week, and now that everything is okay and i'm wrapping up my first trimester it's pretty much public knowledge.  so exciting to have time moving along so quickly.  i'm excited to move into my second trimester feeling much better all around.  i'll try to get a better 12 week baby-bump picture this week...for posterity's sake if nothing else.  the goal is to get one every two weeks.

coming up this week is my trip home for price family Christmas & ruthie's graduation.  i'm so excited to see my family for the first time since being prego.  it's such a fun time to share with them!

a hampostle thanksgiving. 10 weeks in.

we spent thanksgiving in seattle this year with the hammers.  of course it was amazing to see noa & julie, as it always is, but this time was extra special because we got to meet RUBY.  born only a week before we arrived, she was the perfect newborn mix of smell-good, snuggling, and pure sweetness.  we LOVED loving on her, watching football while she slept on my chest, laughing at her uncontrolled arm flailing and eye-crossing, and soaking up every minute of our time with her mommy & daddy.

it was so sweet to hold her, knowing i'd be snuggling my own peanut like this in a few months.  i'm so glad i found out i was pregnant before she arrived :)  it made meeting her & enjoying her extra special.  newborns have always been my favorite stage of baby-hood, and i absolutely can't wait for baby A to make his or her debut in june!  even more so now after loving on the rube-ster for a week!

i called mike the baby-whisperer, because while we were watching ruby one morning so julie could nap, she was really fussy for me.  he took her and started walking around with her up against his chest and she calmed right down, and just looked around quietly.  this happened a couple more times over our weekend there, so he got his name. i would be eternally grateful if this is the case with our own baby!!

while we were in town i convinced julie to take a picture of my 10 week belly.  i should say, my 10 week BLOATING from hell.  i hardly think that's baby in there as much as, something else that won't come out.  thank you, pregnancy hormones & constipation.  keeping it real.  either way, the pants no longer button and the belly-band has been an amazing addition to my wardrobe.

at 10 weeks, i'm still having lots of nausea & it's only made better by eating literally every two hours.  at the max.  i start to feel it creep back up about an hour after i eat...and then it's really unmanageable, i.e. "someone-get-jess-something-to-eat-NOW-before-she-kills-us" unmanageable.  poor mike has taken the brunt of my, "oh hey, i needed to eat ten minutes ago" behavior.  i can't say i'm very cordial when i get hungry anyway, and being nauseated on top of it just about pushes me over the edge.  i still having vomited though, and for that i'm eternally grateful.

also, i still can't stand the smell of coffee.  i can't be in the room while it's brewing, i can't make a new pot or even pour the old pot down the drain without gagging.  i don't understand this little development, as pre-pregnancy i'm a 3 or 4 cup a day gal.  i'm hoping my love for it comes back soon, but in the mean time, keep me away from the 'joe.

so grateful for every passing week of pregnancy.  it's really a cool feeling to know a little peanut is growing deep inside my belly.

worries. and thanksgiving.

yesterday morning i woke up to some spotting and then proceeded to have cramping all day.  low-belly, mild, like a period almost.  but scary nonetheless, of course.  i had some intermittent spotting throughout the day.  i was at work, so i tried to just take it as easy as possible (thankfully it wasn't too busy and i was able to sit a lot)...then i went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept a good 9 hours.

i woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom this morning, and everything was fine.

i laid in bed for the next little bit just whispering prayers of thanksgiving for no blood!  this morning when i got up for work, the cramping had resolved as well.  jen sent me an article from babycenter about cramping & spotting around 9 weeks.  i guess your uterus goes through a little growth spurt and that can cause the symptoms.

either way, i'm grateful to feel better today.

the nausea is actually worse than it has been...as in, i almost yakked my peanut butter toast in the car on the way to work ;)  but i'll even take that over yesterday!!

thanks for your guys' prayers throughout the day yesterday...it meant a lot.

xoxo

p.s. we got to see baby ruby yesterday on iPad/iPhone face-time.  SO AWESOME!!!

i will definitely be doing that as much as possible once baby A makes his/her appearance next summer.  such a neat way to "see" all her little movements & hear her squeaks and just feel like i got a better idea of who little ruby is than just from the million photos i've received.  i can't wait to meet her next week! 

baby A, pay attention b/c that little girl is sure to be one of your BFF's :)

breaking the news.

well, cat's out of the bag!

we told my family about baby A on wednesday while having a little date-day.  i texted a picture of the ultrasound...which was lost on my pops, hilarious!  it was so exciting to share the news, and i think i pretty much giggled all afternoon as i finally was able to talk every last detail with my mom & sisters!!  i'd been DYING to tell them for oh, approximately 5 weeks:)  i'm definitely glad we waited, just to make sure everything was okay...but it was awesome to finally tell them.  since then i think i've exchanged a gazillion texts with them about everything from nausea to baby names.  it's a very exciting time for me!

later that night we also told kate & mike's mom & sarah.  as expected, they were all over the moon too.

this coming monday night is our friend-thanksgiving celebration at our house, and by then most people will know about the peanut.  i think it would be too hard to explain to everyone there why i'm declining wine ;)  it's not really like me!  thankfully, it doesn't even remotely sound appealing.  i think the body has a way of making that easier...no coffee, no wine sounds good.

however, COKE!!!!  oh my gosh, coke is my new fave.  i only have it once or twice a week because we don't even keep any at the house, but it is so tasty to me right now.  maybe it's just the carbonation...i'm going to get some caffeine-free at the store this week to try.  along with some cheerios, which liz suggested, to keep nausea at bay.  i need something that's easy to throw in a ziploc in my scrub pockets at work.  thankfully the nausea seems to be getting a little better every day.  last night i had some eggnog and that didn't sit too well, but i think that might always be the case.  love the flavor so much, but too much and it's a bit heavy.

anyway, i'm entering my 9th week today.  time is moving right along!

8 weeks.

good news at the doctor this week!  peanut is still looking good & my cysts have dramatically decreased in size.  i'm so grateful, to finally hear that things look okay.  it's been a stressful couple of weeks being on activity limitations & not knowing if they would go down without intervention.

i also got to hear the baby's heart beating outloud for the first time during my ultrasound.  last time i'd seen the flicker of his/her heart but this week i heard it loud & clear.  i just burst out laughing and then crying.  welcome to emotion-overload ;)  it was seriously the coolest thing ever.

so here's a picture of the tiny...

and the first of many, i'm sure, bump shots!  nothing much to show yet, but by evening i'm still so bloated i look farther along.  i bought a bella-band this week to use over my jeans, as i can't button them in the evenings...hopefully i can avoid maternity jeans for a bit longer.

so far, still no vomiting.  just nausea ALL. DAY. LONG.

i eat about every hour & a half and that seems to stave it off for a little bit.  i haven't had to take any zofran or vitamin b-6 (supposed to help with morning sickness) yet, am just controlling it with food.  i'm so grateful to not be vomiting, that i don't even care if i feel sick :)

i don't have any cravings yet, but i can't STAND the smell of coffee.  when it's brewing in the morning is the closest i come to dry heaving :)  (drama, mike says)  seriously though, for being a 4 cup a day drinker just a couple months ago, i have quit cold turkey and even making the coffee for someone else in the morning isn't possible right now.  much less when it starts brewing ;)  haha!  weird!

anyway, we're telling my family, kate & mike's family next week when i'm closer to 9 weeks.  i'm so excited i can hardly stand it!

meet nausea, my new best friend.

still thanking the LORD i haven't thrown up yet.

i'm actually quite sure it's not far around the corner, though.  nausea is my constant companion the last two or three days.  as in, if i'm awake, i'm nauseated.  well, unless i'm actively eating.  but if i pause during eating, you guessed it, i'm nauseated.  haha!  it's such a lovely feeling ;)

i have been able to manage it so far by eating every 20 minutes or so!!!!!

the things i feel like eating are pretty bland.  dry Life cereal, oatmeal packets, saltines, baked potatoes.  salad always sounds good so i've had salad bar a few times at work this week.  pretty boring diet though, but that's fine as long as it stays down.

and it's weird because i am SUCH a coffee fanatic.  usually, i'd have two or three cups every morning.  especially on my days off.  that's out the window, now.  it doesn't even sound good.  we got a big snow this morning & so i made a 4-cupper in the pot of decaf coffee (with flavored creamer of course)...poured a cup...and whop whop.  it just sat there.  i think i had one or two sips.  it doesn't make me more nauseated, it just doesn't taste like anything i want to keep drinking.  it's like i'm ambivalent to it ;)  weird for ME!!!

so many changes are happening already.  it's really cool.

today i should be about 6w5d.  crazy that i'm already almost 7 weeks!  here's hoping i can continue to keep it a secret for another two or three weeks...i want to tell my family around thanksgiving.  it's hard to keep secret at home though, with mom, sarah, whitney & eric living with us.  like who am i to ever pass up a glass of wine after work?  but i have twice now to whitney...i'm sure she's wondering.  and momma T has had seven kids of her own, so surely she questions why i'm not finishing my coffee, why i fall asleep on the couch every night, why i've taken more naps in the last two weeks than the first three months they lived here.  

oh well, fingers crossed we can keep our secret a little longer! :)

i go back to the doctor a week from today for another ultrasound to look at my left ovary & of course i'll get to see the peanut again!  yay!